)
Diana, 51: "Suddenly I felt possessed by an evil spirit"
Written by:
Sofi Persson
Diana Lobell, 51:
It was the summer of 2017. That's when the menopause knocked me off my feet. It literally ambushed me from behind. Suddenly, I felt like I was possessed by an evil spirit. Nothing felt right. Sure, I had started to gain weight over the past few years. It was a creeping change, with one clothing size slowly being replaced by the next. At a leisurely pace, I went from a size 38 to a size 44 – chubby but still chic.
But that summer, in 2017, something happened that I'd only ever heard older women talk about – the grand debut of the menopause. I woke up one day and felt completely lost in myself. Whose body was this? Where had my happy self gone? Why did everything around me stink? How had people started shouting at each other instead of talking? Why was I so moody? Where were all these lights, sounds, and smells coming from? And why the hell was I alternating between sweating like a pig and freezing like a naked cat?!
Good grief, was I pregnant?
After enduring that summer, which wasn't even particularly summery, I booked an appointment with a gynaecologist. He was matter-of-fact, without being unpleasant in any way, and confirmed that I had entered menopause. After an examination and a few more questions, he said everything was perfectly normal with me. I was prescribed oestrogen tablets and advised to get a bit more exercise than before. I rushed to the pharmacy, took a pill as soon as I'd paid, and thought, 'Now everything will be fine again.' After three days, I noticed the hot flushes were subsiding and my mood was becoming a little more stable. Days turned into months, and I was still waiting to feel like myself again.
I hate this menopausal hag who has taken over my body and soul
It's now been a year and a half since I stepped into/was shoved into menopause, and I'm more lost than ever. Of everything the doctor said, the words 'everything is perfectly normal with you' stuck in my head. NORMAL. There's damn well nothing normal about me. Everything is completely bloody messed up! I hate this menopausal hag who has taken over my body and soul. I'm not ready for this! I'm not an old woman! I really don't want this.
)
)
)
)